If only I wasn't what I am...

I feel so torn, I want to be happy, get clean, and being my adult life, and family with Nick, but I'm a drug addict.
(Continued July 26)
     So it looks like I'm going back to rehab. I called Summer House today and they're going to talk to my insurance company tomorrow morning. After I spoke to them, I texted Shirley and she texted me back

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Honestly

Some-times... Most of the time, I'm terrified riding in the car with Eric. The rest of the time, I'm nauseous from all the swerving, weaving in traffic, SEVERE ROAD RAGE, quick starts, tailgating, slamming on the breaks, and GOD forbid he catches a red light ... The whole world is conspiring against him, and i planned it

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