Nicholas and My Confusion

Nick left me two months ago and we have been at war ever since. He and I fight about pictures, words, my life, his un-willingness to swallow his pride and admit that he still Loves me which I can tell he does. He tells me not to push my luck but we woke up two or three times to do some sort of sex act. He was really rough although he said he wasn't and then he complains about being raw this morning. I begged to be made Love to all Night. I don't need to be savagely assaulted... He held me so tight when I told him to hold me like he Loved me and I swear when in the middle of the night when I asked if he was still in Love with me he nodded... I want to be with Nick so badly and there is nothing I can do to change that. I told him he was the new Jesse because everything I do revolves around him and what he'll think or say about whatever I do. I Love him and I just want him to be happy with me.